Every Little Heartbeat

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Dear Logan, Yesterday was three months since you have been gone, and so needless to say it was not a good day. I am suddenly realizing that I don’t remember what it felt like to hold you in my arms. I have to watch videos to remember what your voice sounded like. The other day I had to draw up medicine in a syringe for someone I am taking care of and I almost lost it. It should have been your medicine I was measuring out. Your meds are still in the fridge, because I can’t bring myself to throw them away. the calendar is still stuck on July, because I can’t erase your schedule off; your carseat is still in the car, and so is the baby on board sticker. It’s so hard to move on. I went into your room last night because I had to get something…

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